Paranoia vs Protection

There are 10 things in this world one should avoid in order to stay alive, and these are them.
*note* I realize that in reality there really are more then ten, but I believe that these are the ten most urgent things, the ten things you should ALWAYS be looking out for

10. The first thing you should avoid to ensure your longevity are prom queens. I have seen enough dorky teen comedies in my day to know that they can be deadly with those flowers and bitchy remarks

9. GOOGLE BLOGGER!!!....... AHHHHHHH

8. Spastic fits of rage where you lose consciousness only waking up to find yourself rubbing your nipples. These can be very bad in the wrong crowds, namely gay bars.

7. Dreams.... where you wake up to find yourself rubbing your nipples. Ok so its not lethal but it can still be rather bad *cough* check your sheets if you don't believe me

6. Blankets/sheets/underwear featuring Batman. it may sound stupid but if your sheets ever did come alive batman would be the LAST person you would want to have to wrestle to the ground.

5. people who use cursive WHILE TALKING! Its more dangerous then you think just because of the fact its never happened before, who knows what would happen if it did. For all we know the universe could crumble, I don't really want to find out myself.

4. www.wekillyou.com, the name alone not only suggests caution, but invokes curiosity and stupidity, especially among stoners.

3. People who say their a sex machine. Well think of it this way, if they were built for sex who knows what else they could of been built for, possibly, MURDER! perhaps. They might not even know it either, maybe its in their programing to not know they’re killers, and then just when you least expect it... BAM! you die during the best sex ever.

2. Kevin Bacon....... he freaks the S*^$ out of me

and 1. Well, this ones kinda gonna be a tough one to tell you, but it needs to be said, so ill just say it..... look to the person next to you.......


Thought of the Day: The Lifetime network has shown us that if you’re a girl there’s a 100% chance that the person sitting next to you will rape you, and if you’re a guy there’s a 100% chance that the girl sitting next to you will kill you for cheating on her... sucks huh

Can't Help Myself

I must....
Also check out this (most recent) trailer

Yes... I know... I'm a nerd...



Thought of the Day: A wise man would tell you "junk food is bad for you" but a wiser man would tell you "bad for you, is junk food"

I'm Not Here

People of blogtoria, I'm not here to post about my beautiful 115 pound girlfriend with the auburn hair and hourglass body, I don't have one. I'm not here to post about my adorable 6 month old baby girl who just learned her first words, I don't have one. I'm not here to post about the new way to play the latest family song on my kick ass 500$ guitar, I don't have one. I'm not here to post about the Awesome adventure I have with my best friend who is always at my side, I don't have one. I'm not here to post about my big house with the winding staircase leading to the roof, where on dark nights you can see every star, I don't have one. I'm not here to post thousands of pictures of friends I don't care about enough remember their names, I don't have them. I'm not here to post about happy memories of lying under the stars with that special person that always made me smile, I don't have them. PEOPLE, I'm not here to post about my LIFE... I! DON'T! HAVE! ONE!!!

I AM here to post about my thoughts, I have them. I'm here to post about my favorite TV show, I have that. I'm here to post about memories of BAD times, times where everything seems to go wrong, but somehow I always managed to come out feeling better then when I went in, I have them. I'm here to post about things that make ME laugh, that make ME happy, that make ME fell good, I HAVE THEM!

I'm here so I can realize that I am not like you, that I will never be like you, I will never have what you have. I will never be the guy with the totally hot girl friend everyone is drooling over. I will never be the person with the friendship people envy. I will never be the guy with the big house and cool things. In fact, I am everything I never wanted to be.

What I am is a loser, a geek, a pushover, a video game junkie, an avid comic book fan, a pop culture encyclopedia, for god sakes I spend half my time looking up the Marvel universe on WIKIPEDIA!!!.... but you know what, I think I'm ok with it. because when I go to bed between the time I lay down and the time I fall asleep... I am that guy. I am the guy with the girlfriend so hot she burns your skin when you come within 5 feet. I am the guy with the best friend I've never doubted. I’m the guy with the big house and fancy garage (that hasn’t been converted into 2 spare bedrooms). And I gotta tell you......



......it feels good.

(note) I know these last few posts haven't been as funny as the rest, and I promise I'll get back to the good old posts soon, I just needed to write these things down where people could read them. In fact just to prove I can still be funny I have made a special thought of the day just for the occasion (well not really). Oh also, in case you didn't know, that whole post about me quitting was an April fools joke.



Thought of the day: before you die I think it would be a nice gesture to check your own pulse, perform CPR, and give yourself mouth to mouth, then break the bad news to your family, just so the doctor doesn't have to.

The End of the Clown

I quit...

-Signed Benjamin B. Bruni (so you know its really me... yes I know my initials are BBB, I can't help it)



Thought of the Day: Jesus, no matter how much you pray, no matter how many keys you claim WON'T help you beat a video game.

Thinking Aloud

..... Is it wrong to think things about people that don't exsist? or people you've never met or talked to. Is it bad that when people ask me if I day dream I look at them with an evil smile and say "you have no idea" followed up with a "to be continued sign" that I happen to have with me at all times. Is it wrong that I am obsessed with not one but 2! Different people that I DON'T KNOW!... Don't answer that.... Is it wrong that 87% of above mentioned daydreams revolve around one of those 2 people (the other 13% usually has something to do with spandex and strange bites from various radioactive insects) Is it bad that I got 5 points in 4 rounds of boggle? Is it bad that my attention-span is so short I strayed from topic not but 2 seconds ago. Is it bad that my writing skills are ten times better then my "speaking to people who I think are better then me in some way, which in retrospect, is pretty much everyone" skills. On that note if you'd like to join the club of people who I feel are better then me, don't bother, your probably already in it. Also, If you wondering why the subject seems to be straying then I believe you need to rethink your standards when it comes to straying.... and love making. You see, I'm not straying at all, In fact there are many diffrent reasons I am not straying, first off being, this whole part about me explaining the explaining of the straying and the original straying to clear up about the fact that a wasn't straying (you might need to read that 3 or 4 times) is just a break from the main subject which I will get back to when I’m done "enlightening" you. Secondly, What I was really doing I like to call "Swaying" from the topic, swaying being a gentler, less aggressive approach to departing from the original subject.... "approach" to "departing", humm something to think about there. Anyway as I was saying, in a sense swaying is the same as straying except instead of only taking 2 minutes to go from the subject of, say, disco dancing to radiant radioactive monkeys it takes 20 (depending on how stupid you or the person reading this to you is). Ok, (clears through with the use of the brilliant onomatopoeia “eherm”) now that I'm done "enlightening" you, I can return to the original subject, which, I believe had something to do with wondering if “it” is wrong?.... or is it? (eyebrow raised in a way that clearly shows I'm trying to hard to look like I'm trying to hard)..... Anyway, any other day I probably would go back to that topic and talk about all that “it” (say it really fast, go on, do it) but its 3:30 in the morning and I still need to proof read and spell check this. Odds are the whole confession part about what I really did last summer will probably be cut, but only because I really don't have the time to spend 3 to 5 years in jail. However, before we go I would like to take a minute to review this post, Best post ever? not hardly, most informative post, believe it or not, most likely. Think about it long and hard.............




......... that’s what she said........




Thought of the Day: If I was god I would of put candy in peoples brains, that way when scientists first opened it up they would be pleasantly surprised, until of course realized what the heck they just ate.

300

What do you get when you combine the epic awesomeness of Troy and the Visual awesomeness of Sin City? One of the coolest movies ever!



Thought of the Day: from the previous post I noticed that when I say someone's name they usually leave a comment....... Jesus

M.A.T.C.H. Without the Match

Well, after a year of waiting they finally had another M.A.T.C.H. Meeting (yeah its another acronym). This post, as the name and opening line implies, is about said meeting. First I'll start with a brief description of my team (or at least who I can remember). First there was Jesse Bruni, yeah my brother, "why do you name him first?" you may ask, well, its because he was closest to the door. Next there was Sam, now this was a strange fellow, not in a bad way of course, more of just an extremely different way. I have never met another man who loved light, girlish colors such as Pink and Baby blue so much. Without knowing and simply reading this description you would probably think he was gay, right? well actually sadly enough I think he was the only one in our cabin who had a girl friend. Next there was Andre... who liked to be naked... sometimes with the door open, but other then that he was pretty normal. He actually tried to hook me up with someone. Now I won't go into details, but lets just say the plan failed. Next, I believe, was another Sam, I don't really know anything about this Sam so I will end it by stating that he, in fact, said that he hates Mosquitoes, not skaters , as most of the people in out class heard. Then theres Mikey, a very quiet... small person whom I only slightly know. (note*) these descriptions are getting to long so I'm going to sum up the rest with one liners. Frances, strange would be the nicest thing to say. Ben (Borst, not me) A good artist with a weird voice. David, very ghettoish. Jesse (osborne) extremely quiet but really good at guitar. Dre, I don't know. Franky, also very ghettoish. John Paul, a Ghetto, Wigger, Cowboy, but an ok guy. Johnny, a very strange, strange boy. Jesse (Goode) I don't really know anything about him either. And last, me you all should know me so I'm not going to explain myself.
(note*) I am obligated to say the name Karen at least once in this post.
Anyway, now that thats all out of the way, I can explain what actually happened. We all arrived on day one, and nothing much happened, so I will skip that. the next day we did the routine Breakfast, inspiration, class, and all that good stuff. We played basketball which wasn't as bad as I though it would be when I saw some "cool" people (notice the parentheses around the word cool) playing as bad as me. Then we all went to go swimming which I didn't do partly because I was still wearing my underwear, but mostly because the water was cold enough to shrink even the manlyest man's manhood, to almost non existence. Later that night we had a star gazing night, if you can really call it that, it was more of a "sing a long make out party". Anyhow, it was ok. The next day was pretty much the same. I was a bit annoyed when we were made to play basketball again, but oh well. Also that night rather then laying under the stars watching jets make out under covers we had a valentines day dance, to which you were suppose to wear red and black, which was kinda funny when Sam (Pink Sam) came in wearing white and baby blue looking like a hardcore disco fan. The dancing was ok except for the fact that it was almost all head banging music. Anyway since thats pretty much all that happened, and, I'm sick of writing, I'll stop there, so for now good bye.


Thought of the Day: Lately I've really been noticing just how white toilet paper is.