My Happy Place

Picture if you will a place where all your dreams can come true, a place where a man of any size stature or level of attractiveness can become an icon adored by millions, a place where a 10 year old boy can live out his dream of being a super hero, a place known only as... The Midnight Zone.
I take you now to the tippy top of a tall building where we have entered the mind of a young and ambitious Benjamin Bruni. There are many strange minds in this world, but none so strange as his, lets take a look shall we.

Buzz! Buzz! goes the alarm clock on the 300 and 69th floor, that’s right everyone, I said 69. A physical fit and extremely handsome if I might add, Benjamin Bruni steps out of bed at the first Noon of the day, you see, in his mind days last twice as long but years stop when you reach a certain age, therefore time works like 12, 12, 1, 1, 2, 1, 2. on the 67th second of the 8th hour of 12 noon he is greeted by Jojo the gorilla, calmly sipping his tea and reading the morning news. He then is greeted and playfully feather dusted by Kimmy, the curly blond haired blue eyed swedish maid that lives full time in the room across from his own. Once he is finished watching her clean the third Noon has rolled around and a group of midgets had earlier promised him that they would teach him to do that midget voice and waddle like midgets do. Just as he's finished learning how to say "G'day Mate" in a australian midget accent he hears the red phone ring and the comish tells him that the local bank is being robbed. He then proceeds to jump out the window of his 300 and 69 story building and fly to the rescue. once at the bank he monologs to the criminals for about 20 to 30 minutes until half of the third, second 2:67 pm is over, then proceeds to knock them out in a single punch. Once finished with the goons he flies back to his 300 and 69th story where he breaks yet again through the main window, it of course fixes itself because he will need to break it again tomorrow when the goons rob that same bank again, only next time he will use a slightly different monolog. No sooner had he got back that the girl who he secret liked and who secretly liked him called to tell him about a dance party where at least 200 people would be at. At the dance the girl is surprised and excited when The Swavy and extremely manly Benjamin Bruni asks her to dance. She then begins to dance, and by what seems like magic to you and me but just an ordinary day for cool people in the midnight zone, knows exactly what The Daringly Delicious Benjamin Bruni is going to do. Once the one and only greatest dance song is over the other girl whom the Sexy, hunkalicious and ever so bad in the best way ever Benjamin Bruni secretly likes asks him to dance, but unknown to him but well known to everyone else especially secret crush # 1 is that she also in a widely known secret likes the Rugged sex God that is Benjamin. As crush # 1 watches our lord of beauty and heroism dance with another woman she is overcome by jealousy and proceeds to jump on the other girl and attack her and just like that, they are in cheerleader costumes with the miniskirts and everything. Knowing that he can do nothing to stop their fighting over him the lord of Funk returns to his 300 and 69th floor where he goes to sleep on the 12th midnight and dreams about how his day could be better. Just as he thinks that nothing can get any better he wakes up and realizes that it was all just a dream, and that he was not the Majorifically proclaimed lord of all things holy and spiffy captain of the rugged league of flying hunks, but more of the king of all things no one ever notices or really even cares about like how to play "Enie Kleine Nachtmusik" with his big toe. "What could of happened" thought the poor confused boy, but then it became all to clear to him that he had spent his day in... The Midnight Zone.

P.S. its much more funny if you imagin the dude from the Twilight Zone narrating it


Thought of the day: Badgers are a lot like people, the white fur keeps to themselves while the black fur thinks they are better then the white fur just because they think the white fur hates them, but the whole time the white fur is thinking "hey man just because old gray hair over there may of hated you doesn’t mean I do" and the black fur is all like "Ima bust a cap in yo ass right heah homie" and the white fur is like "hey dawg, don’t be a hateah man, now why you gotta role like that, yous know I's didn’t do notin’ to you dawg, represent homie, represent", then the black fur is like "yeah, yeah G, well if I see you in my side of the tail again ill bust a cap in mommas ass se how that fees huh" and then the badger rolls over and kills them all, kinda like a fat guy.

Because no one said anything....

... This post has nothing to do with anything I said in the previous post (and I do realize that Rosie said I should post about my 6th year, but, come on, who would want to listen to that).So...... What should I make this post about... something that will make you laugh... cry... and think about life hard... really hard... I got it!

Why I like Super heros!

I was thinking about this a little today (well actually I was thinking about someone that lead me to that point, but that, and she will remain out of this story), I used to think that the reason I was so obsessed with super heros was because they were cool, bouncing, swinging and flying around saving people, but then I realized that, the real reason I like super heros was because... well, I am one. Now before you start thinking I'm insane let me explain. What defines a Super hero? well superpowers of course, but then what about Batman, Iron man, The Punnisher and all those other people who don't have any powers. No, what makes a super hero is mostly these 3 things, a secret identity, a mask, and the saving of innocent people. "But you don't have or do any of those things Ben" is what I told myself until I though, I do wear a mask, I wear it every day, and beneath that mask is a secret identity that is rarely seen, what is my mask you might say... This, ladies and gentleman is my mask, this charade I call humor, this name "the Clown, the Class Clown" is my super hero identity. Why do I do it? why do I go around wearing a clown mask telling jokes all day? well for you of course. In the words of Spider-man "This is my gift, this is my curse" the gift to go around all day, making people happy at the cost of my own health, my own happiness, my own "secret identity". The fact is there are two people, two "me's" Ben (or Benny Boy) and The Clown, The Benny Boy you think you know isn't who you think it is at all, Benny Boy is almost gone and only comes out when all is darkest and depression sets in, Benny Boy is a side affect of The Clown, my other personality, the person that deep down is really just a lonely person who just wants to give up, to quit and let someone else take the name "Clown", the person that gets angry at someone he’s never met for doing something that is none of his business (And here I promised to leaver her out of this, oh well). I have become my mask, I have become "The Clown" and all that’s left of my secret identity is almost gone. This my audience and fellow victims of unwanted powers is how I am a super hero, this is who I am, and I, and shall forever remain... THE CLASS CLOWN, BRIGHTENER OF YOUR DAY. And that is my "super power"

P.S. your probably really confused right now........... so am I.........


Thought of the day: As I stated above this post is to make you think.... so think people, who are you, and what makes you a hero.... ok ok, fine.....
The real Thought of the Day: if your hit by a train just lay down and don’t move.... it will go away in time.

For the sake of a question...

What would you rather hear me rant on anything...

A weird and embarrassing memory,
A stupid poem (I could write for you if you ask really nicely),
My entire 6th year,
Something completely random,
Evil robots,
Pian...isam,
Friends,
or my best Thoughts of the Day

Also I just dot feel like posting anything right now, soooo...... this is YOUR chance to tell me what to post about


Thought of the Day: if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?... what if it falls on someone and he screams before it lands on him, do you hear the scream? what if someone did hear the scream but was shot by angry black people, did he really hear anything? what if the black guys are blind? did they see anything, no, and neither did the tree, cuz even the deaf guy knows trees don’t have eyes. I think the real question here is, if a blind black guy shot a deaf tree man would Helen Keller know?

M&Ms

"My love life was getting so bland,
there are only so many ways I can make love with my hand,
sometimes it makes me want to laugh,
sometimes I want to take my toaster in the bath"

-Blink182



Thought of the day: If you look up "she beaver" on google image search you don't get any pictures of our favorite female talking beaver from the chronicles of Narnia

Ugly!?!?

Me: You still on? helloo? ok well whatever, I hope you learned a valuable lesson about gossip today, bye.

Confused? I'm sure you are. Your probably saying "How did he get to that point? who is he talking to?" well don't worry, all your questions will be answered in time.
It all started when I began chatting to one of my friends. For some unknown reason she really wanted to switch accounts for the day, so after about 20 minutes of arguing I reluctantly agreed. When I got on her Yahoo account I found about 200 people I had never met or heard of, so of course I felt very out of place. After another 20 minutes someone popped up, with thinking I was her friend and began to talk like girls do. I did my best to act like my friend but of course the girl noticed something was wrong right away, so she asked if I was thinking about someone (who’s name I cant remember) I playfully said, "well I am thinking about someone, he’s like, the sexiest funniest coolest guy ever."
Her: Ooh what’s his name?
Me: His name is Benny Boy, and he's like so hot :D
Her: Te he, send me a picture
So of course I did just for fun to see what she would say. After what I assume was about 10 seconds for her of looking at the picture I sent, she very bluntly stated, "hum, uhh, lord help me, but, he's sorta ugly"
Me: Ugly!?!?, that’s so mean! you don't even know him
Her: Well I did hear he is really cool, but... you actually think he is that sexy....
Me: I was joking
The conversation dragged on for a few more minutes and almost every time I said something I would drop a hint that I was not in fact the person she thought I was. all of the sudden she began to get worried expecting something was wrong.
Her: what’s wrong? you don't sound like yourself?
Me: Lmao
Her: Lmao? what does that mean?... oh my god... tell me he isn't over your shoulder, please just tell me that!
Me: No, not exactly
Her: well what is it then?
Me: Well, do you want me to be completely honest?
Her:Yes.
I then told her that I was not who she thought I was, and that I was in fact the person who she had just called ugly. She of course seemed very... confused, I tried about 3 times to explain what had just happened but she didn’t seem to be able to grasp what I was telling her. Only when I set up a conference with her and my friend who I had switched accounts with did she realize what had just happened. And that, my friends is when my post began and my story ended.
So..... Ugly? I was sure that some, or even most people thought that but I never expected to hear about it while pretending to be someone else. I guess gossip is just a growing problem and I was a victim. Maybe I'm just to nice though, I found myself forgiving her before she even stated that she was sorry and later defending her. I can't say I have never called anyone else ugly, so I understand why she would say it (see I'm doing it again), but I just thought it was a little... annoying how she was so caviler to state it.
However, after an hour or so I came to this conclusion. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, however, most "beholders" have the same taste in beauty, meaning that 82% of people on this planet are in fact ugly. So if I am part of that 82% that makes me a majority, making me completely original... perhaps I need to explain a bit more. Everyone wants to be original so much that they make the thousands of people trying to be a minority, a majority, meaning that my trying to be part of the majority makes me the only minority, meaning of course, I am all that’s left of the minority of people being the majority.
In plain English what I am saying is that while there may be 18% of drop dead gorgeous people on this earth I have something they don't, a completely original personality and sense of humor, so look out...... Brad Pit...... cuz Benny Boy AKA the nicest, funniest, coolest, most original ugly guy ever is coming, so watch your back.


Thought of the day: I have a proposition for you. Take the hottest, smartest, nicest girl in school, who is hiding behind glasses, a pony tail and paint covered overalls, and make her into prom queen in a few months... Morons