I guess I need to post something new

I haven't posted since my birthday and for I think the first time ever, I actually don't want to post anything. Weird. Anyway I think I'll keep it short until inspiration strikes, so I will just share a stupid moment in my life. I call it

THE BIG BIG BOOK OF BEN'S STUPID ACHIEVEMENTS CHAPTER XXXXVIII BOOK XXII PAGE 1420..... of chapter XXXXVIII.

A few days ago I was talking a shower and talking when something stupid happened. I was just standing there soaking up the water until I decided that it was time to soap up. I reached into my toiletry kit and grabbed my, wonderful, sexy, and powerful, Axe Clicks with all new fragrance "Bom Chicka wah wah" (Trade Mark) body wash and put it in my hand.
Now at the very moment I put the body wash into my hand a wonderful thought of a very pretty girl came into my head, and then another, and then another. Now if you are a guy you know what I am talking about, but if your not let me explain. when thoughts of a beautiful woman come unannounced into a mans head he has three choices, become a sex obsessed player and begin doing private things to himself, ignore the thoughts completely and become a homosexual, or embrace the thoughts and sit there in a relative unconscious bliss only thinking of this person. Now me, not being an extremist, decided to go the middle route (the one where I don’t become a chronically masturbating homosexual) I stood there for about 2 minutes, until I finally realized that, for some strange reason, I was rubbing my head. "what the heck" I thought. I looked around and didn't see any shampoo on the floor near me, but instead all I saw was a sleek thin bottle of strong sexy axe clicks, for the ladies "bom chicka wah wah" (trademark) sitting on the floor with a look (if bottles had looks) as if it had planned the whole thing and had sent images of this sexy anonymous half naked girl into my mind so that I would purposly ruin my hair. I could just see it laughing manically like a Saturday morning cartoon villain, shouting out "you fool, I shall be your doom, Muwahahah!!!". Now see, if any of this had actually happened, I probably would of kicked the bottle straight out of the shower, but since it was all in my imagination, I remembered my Karma, and left the defenseless bottle alone and washed the axe clicks blah blah blah (trade mark) out of my hair and reached straight for my shampoo which at this time seemed like Superman, but unbeknownst to me was really BAZARRO!!! ( that joke would of been hilarious if anyone who read this blog had ever watched or read superman). I put the shampoo in my hair and scrubbed for a bit, then washed it out and to my surprise, it made my hair all hard and... for lack of a better less... teenage girly word (I'm not gay just a little slow), yucky. Panicking I did what your local village idiot would do and decided that "if this shampoo made my hair harder I had better use it again" so I did, and, wouldn't you know it, my hair got harder. I felt my head and this time it felt as if evil gremlin of "suave prune shampoo" decided that he wanted to seriously... (explicit edited) up my hair. After the second shampooing I finally decided that I would use conditioner and hopefully it would make my hair "beautiful" again. I readied my voice and shouted over to the next stall where a friend was taking a shower (and obviously wasn't having as much trouble as I was) "hey Joe! you got any conditioner?" I said. A bottle of conditioner came sliding swiftly under the curtains. I quickly rubbed it all over my head, making sure to cover every tiny tiny bit of my newly black with awesome accidental red highlights hair. To my relief once I was done my hair was just as shiny and smooth as ever, and its all thanks to one hot young half naked thought, the end.


Sorry, I really tryed to keep it short, I just got carried away.


Thought of the day: I hate Warner Brothers, they turned down my idea for an AWESOME movie. I mean common, who in their right would turn down "Fast and the Furious 4, Amish Drift". Its gold I tell ya, gold.