My Happy Place

Picture if you will a place where all your dreams can come true, a place where a man of any size stature or level of attractiveness can become an icon adored by millions, a place where a 10 year old boy can live out his dream of being a super hero, a place known only as... The Midnight Zone.
I take you now to the tippy top of a tall building where we have entered the mind of a young and ambitious Benjamin Bruni. There are many strange minds in this world, but none so strange as his, lets take a look shall we.

Buzz! Buzz! goes the alarm clock on the 300 and 69th floor, that’s right everyone, I said 69. A physical fit and extremely handsome if I might add, Benjamin Bruni steps out of bed at the first Noon of the day, you see, in his mind days last twice as long but years stop when you reach a certain age, therefore time works like 12, 12, 1, 1, 2, 1, 2. on the 67th second of the 8th hour of 12 noon he is greeted by Jojo the gorilla, calmly sipping his tea and reading the morning news. He then is greeted and playfully feather dusted by Kimmy, the curly blond haired blue eyed swedish maid that lives full time in the room across from his own. Once he is finished watching her clean the third Noon has rolled around and a group of midgets had earlier promised him that they would teach him to do that midget voice and waddle like midgets do. Just as he's finished learning how to say "G'day Mate" in a australian midget accent he hears the red phone ring and the comish tells him that the local bank is being robbed. He then proceeds to jump out the window of his 300 and 69 story building and fly to the rescue. once at the bank he monologs to the criminals for about 20 to 30 minutes until half of the third, second 2:67 pm is over, then proceeds to knock them out in a single punch. Once finished with the goons he flies back to his 300 and 69th story where he breaks yet again through the main window, it of course fixes itself because he will need to break it again tomorrow when the goons rob that same bank again, only next time he will use a slightly different monolog. No sooner had he got back that the girl who he secret liked and who secretly liked him called to tell him about a dance party where at least 200 people would be at. At the dance the girl is surprised and excited when The Swavy and extremely manly Benjamin Bruni asks her to dance. She then begins to dance, and by what seems like magic to you and me but just an ordinary day for cool people in the midnight zone, knows exactly what The Daringly Delicious Benjamin Bruni is going to do. Once the one and only greatest dance song is over the other girl whom the Sexy, hunkalicious and ever so bad in the best way ever Benjamin Bruni secretly likes asks him to dance, but unknown to him but well known to everyone else especially secret crush # 1 is that she also in a widely known secret likes the Rugged sex God that is Benjamin. As crush # 1 watches our lord of beauty and heroism dance with another woman she is overcome by jealousy and proceeds to jump on the other girl and attack her and just like that, they are in cheerleader costumes with the miniskirts and everything. Knowing that he can do nothing to stop their fighting over him the lord of Funk returns to his 300 and 69th floor where he goes to sleep on the 12th midnight and dreams about how his day could be better. Just as he thinks that nothing can get any better he wakes up and realizes that it was all just a dream, and that he was not the Majorifically proclaimed lord of all things holy and spiffy captain of the rugged league of flying hunks, but more of the king of all things no one ever notices or really even cares about like how to play "Enie Kleine Nachtmusik" with his big toe. "What could of happened" thought the poor confused boy, but then it became all to clear to him that he had spent his day in... The Midnight Zone.

P.S. its much more funny if you imagin the dude from the Twilight Zone narrating it


Thought of the day: Badgers are a lot like people, the white fur keeps to themselves while the black fur thinks they are better then the white fur just because they think the white fur hates them, but the whole time the white fur is thinking "hey man just because old gray hair over there may of hated you doesn’t mean I do" and the black fur is all like "Ima bust a cap in yo ass right heah homie" and the white fur is like "hey dawg, don’t be a hateah man, now why you gotta role like that, yous know I's didn’t do notin’ to you dawg, represent homie, represent", then the black fur is like "yeah, yeah G, well if I see you in my side of the tail again ill bust a cap in mommas ass se how that fees huh" and then the badger rolls over and kills them all, kinda like a fat guy.