Ugly!?!?

Me: You still on? helloo? ok well whatever, I hope you learned a valuable lesson about gossip today, bye.

Confused? I'm sure you are. Your probably saying "How did he get to that point? who is he talking to?" well don't worry, all your questions will be answered in time.
It all started when I began chatting to one of my friends. For some unknown reason she really wanted to switch accounts for the day, so after about 20 minutes of arguing I reluctantly agreed. When I got on her Yahoo account I found about 200 people I had never met or heard of, so of course I felt very out of place. After another 20 minutes someone popped up, with thinking I was her friend and began to talk like girls do. I did my best to act like my friend but of course the girl noticed something was wrong right away, so she asked if I was thinking about someone (who’s name I cant remember) I playfully said, "well I am thinking about someone, he’s like, the sexiest funniest coolest guy ever."
Her: Ooh what’s his name?
Me: His name is Benny Boy, and he's like so hot :D
Her: Te he, send me a picture
So of course I did just for fun to see what she would say. After what I assume was about 10 seconds for her of looking at the picture I sent, she very bluntly stated, "hum, uhh, lord help me, but, he's sorta ugly"
Me: Ugly!?!?, that’s so mean! you don't even know him
Her: Well I did hear he is really cool, but... you actually think he is that sexy....
Me: I was joking
The conversation dragged on for a few more minutes and almost every time I said something I would drop a hint that I was not in fact the person she thought I was. all of the sudden she began to get worried expecting something was wrong.
Her: what’s wrong? you don't sound like yourself?
Me: Lmao
Her: Lmao? what does that mean?... oh my god... tell me he isn't over your shoulder, please just tell me that!
Me: No, not exactly
Her: well what is it then?
Me: Well, do you want me to be completely honest?
Her:Yes.
I then told her that I was not who she thought I was, and that I was in fact the person who she had just called ugly. She of course seemed very... confused, I tried about 3 times to explain what had just happened but she didn’t seem to be able to grasp what I was telling her. Only when I set up a conference with her and my friend who I had switched accounts with did she realize what had just happened. And that, my friends is when my post began and my story ended.
So..... Ugly? I was sure that some, or even most people thought that but I never expected to hear about it while pretending to be someone else. I guess gossip is just a growing problem and I was a victim. Maybe I'm just to nice though, I found myself forgiving her before she even stated that she was sorry and later defending her. I can't say I have never called anyone else ugly, so I understand why she would say it (see I'm doing it again), but I just thought it was a little... annoying how she was so caviler to state it.
However, after an hour or so I came to this conclusion. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, however, most "beholders" have the same taste in beauty, meaning that 82% of people on this planet are in fact ugly. So if I am part of that 82% that makes me a majority, making me completely original... perhaps I need to explain a bit more. Everyone wants to be original so much that they make the thousands of people trying to be a minority, a majority, meaning that my trying to be part of the majority makes me the only minority, meaning of course, I am all that’s left of the minority of people being the majority.
In plain English what I am saying is that while there may be 18% of drop dead gorgeous people on this earth I have something they don't, a completely original personality and sense of humor, so look out...... Brad Pit...... cuz Benny Boy AKA the nicest, funniest, coolest, most original ugly guy ever is coming, so watch your back.


Thought of the day: I have a proposition for you. Take the hottest, smartest, nicest girl in school, who is hiding behind glasses, a pony tail and paint covered overalls, and make her into prom queen in a few months... Morons