Thursday, July 05, 2007

I Have Stalkers?!?!

Thats right people, I recently, and by recently I mean just yesterday, found out that I, thats right me, plain old, nothing really special Ben Bruni, has STALKERS! I'll elaborate. You see, every day I go out and take a walk for a few hours and listen to some music (I have my reasons for doing this) but I never once imagined that I was being watched while I was doing things. Needless to say it came as kind of a shock to me when I found out. Anyway, I was walking around when a golf cart with a couple of girls sitting on the back seat drove past me. Just as they drove past one of them, with a big creepy grin, waved in my direction. Now this has happened before and usually I wave back, however, almost every time I DO wave back I usually look behind me to see some other person wave at them, and then I realize that they weren't waving at me at all, and then I just feel stupid. So this time rather then waving back, I looked back only to find that the road was completely empty. When I looked back at the golf cart the girl who had initially waved was now pointing and nodding her head. They then drove off and I continued walking, and thought nothing of it after that. Only a few minutes later in a different area of the camp ground I ran into the same golf cart, and no sooner did the girl see me, did she blatantly ask "whats your name?" I replied with, what else "Ben." She then as any normal person would do said a simple "Well hi, Ben" and I, as any UNnormal person would, replied with a very awkward "Hiiii". As I walked away feeling very awkward and a little embarrassed at my rather plain response I overheard her say to her friend on the golf cart "what am I suppose to say to him?". As you can well imagine, I felt a little weird as I continued my walk and... well... I won't lie, I felt a bit more self confident too, Believe it or not. Anyway as I continued my walk I, once more, to my delight and dismay ran into the same girl, this time on a bike. As she rode by she shouted "come swimming with us". I, being a very shy person, and being not so good at thinking of things to say in a hurry, said the first thing that came to mind "I can't... I have to be back... soon" which of course was a complete lie. As she rode away towards the lake she shouted "you're no fun". I then walked into my trailer and no sooner had I sat down did the words take effect "No fun? NO FUN?" I thought to myself, "I'll prove I am fun". I quickly grabbed my bathing suit and began my manly stride all the way the the lake. As soon as I reached the lake I heard a voice shout out my name as if it was being shouted by someone who had known me my whole life... or, someone who was waiting for me, and knew that even though I said I wasn't coming, I really was. As we swam in the semi freezing lake we talked about random pointless things that teenagers talk about such as music, clothes, Etc. Etc. Until eventually we came to the subject of why she initially waved in the first place, since, lets be honest, I'm not the most popular guy around, but am the most curious. She told me that her and her sister, since I guess as long as they had been there had been watching me while I take my walks and had been making up Where's Waldo type games about me... yeah... weird. Although I was not really used to being the object of peoples interest I was use to being the object of peoples amusement, so the awkwardness of having people watching me in strange ways faded sooner then I thought it would. After about an hour we got out of the lake and went to go rinse off in the showers, and, the funny thing about the showers here are, the mens and womens sides aren't separated by much, so you can hear everything going on, on the side of the opposite sex. Out of the many hundreds of men who have probably used this technique to find out if a girl liked them or not, What I heard was, "he has a really good taste in music and likes all the stuff I like, and he's never had a girlfriend because his parents move around to much". Now I'm sure many other things were said, but that was all I heard at any rate, and whither it was said in good or bad context, its nice to know people DO talk about me while I'm not (or at least they think I'm not) listening. After all that I was going to go back the my trailer, watch a movie and call it a day, until she asked me if I wanted to watch the fire works with her. I now had a choice to make, I could go watch the fireworks with this semi stalker whom I was beginning to think had a crush on me, or I could go watch Ghost Rider with my parents... it was really a no brainier if you think about it. So I changed out of my bathing suit and headed back to the lake where they were going to be setting off the fireworks. As we sat there she started asking me weirder and weirder questions such as, what type of girls do you like, when was your first kiss, and what is your ideal romantic situation. Naturally I couldn't answer all of them (I'll leave you to guess which), but it got even weirder when she told me HER most ideal romantic situation, and well, just listen. "My most ideal romantic situation would probably be something like sitting under a blanket with someone I liked, near a beach or a lake watching fireworks, or something like that". About 2 seconds after she said that I started looking around, and what I saw was none other then, a lake, fireworks, and somehow (which I will leave to your imagination) I ended up sitting under her blanket. I immediately began to wonder if I had just stumbled upon her most romantic situation without even trying, or if she was trying to hint at something. I sat there thinking about it for a few minutes unknowingly and unintentionally tuning out almost all of what she was saying. I thought about why I was all of a sudden the object of so much attention amongst women (there were a couple other minor instances across the campground such as double taking and staring), and then it dawned on me, IT'S GOT TO BE THE HAT. Let me explain, I never got any attention until recently except for one girl, and she just so happened to weigh 160 pounds and was a foulmouthed smoker, who was pretty much offensive to all 5 senses. It was only recently that everyone seemed to like the way I looked, and I thought about what have I done recently, what did I do to change my appearance, I BOUGHT A HAT. A hat that not only compliments my ears, but covers my unkept orange hair and casts a mysterious silhouette across my barren, often invisible brows. And to top it all off, it has TWO four leaf clovers on it. I realize now that this must be my lucky hat, and that I shall never take it off if I can help it in the presence of other people. So all this post is simply to say that, I have a cool hat, stalkers are people too, and I am worse at flirting then I was at saying the letter "R" when I was 6 years old. But all in all, Michigan is a pretty cool place, so much better then...................ARIZONA!!!



Thought of the Day: The real crappy things about Transformers that the dealers don't tell you is, AC is NOT standard.... pieces of crap I tell you.

12 comments:

Sam Fuller said...

HAHAHA! STALKERS! Hat do work wonders, my friend. Especially PINK ONES!!! LOL

Clare said...

Cackle, cackle.

See you're a hottie after all!

Anonymous said...

Umm.. you left out the most important part that we are ALL waiting for! Did you get it on with her or what?! I did laugh though reading it...funny stuff... ha.

Blog God said...

Please tell me after all that you made a move. Sounds pretty much like the most blatantly open invitation that a guy can get from a girl.

Class Clown said...

The bad thing about this hat that i just learned today is that it also attracts fat people who wont stop talking about themselves. But with all good things comes some bad things.

Xact Claims Services said...

hahahahhahahhaha, ben you rock my laughing world.

Anonymous said...

Never answered Mine OR Blog God's question.....

Class Clown said...

Well I did, but for some reason It didnt publish it. What I said was that its not always about sex ricky, and if you could just see that... well.... nevermind, lol. And no, Jesse I didn't make a move because I didnt realize she was into me untill after the fact.

Anonymous said...

oh ben man you pasted up on something that could have been "something"...or something. At least you'll learn for next time. Oh and about the hat take the good with the bad ;)

Blog God said...

Hahhahaha, Andre, of course YOU are gonna defend the Hat thing!

Anonymous said...

hahaha.. good post... but i wouldn't exactly call them stalkers... more like ladies with twisted underpants!

Anonymous said...

and do you know...that Walmart does not have everything?????????

Tex

Tex