Updates (can you spell cliche)

As he lay there on the couch looking through the blinds out the sliding glass door, listening to a song that reminded him of things he hated being reminded of, he pondered all the things that had been happening in his life up until that moment. He watched the trees become clearer with each passing moment, almost as if some big ball of gas and fire that gave off light, burning millions of miles away was coming around the corner (the corner millions of miles away) slowly illuminating everything it touched while simultaneously giving an alien the power to save a made up city and beat a maniacal bald guy on regular basis.

"What have I been up to" He wondered as he stared. He could of written about how he would wake up each day at 6:30, eat his breakfast, do his school, then ride his shiny $400+ bike. How he would pick up 3-5 applications a day on a regular basis, fill them out, and return them the next day, never to get a call back, or a reply to the calls he made. He could of written about how once he was done with his application run he would, quite often, ride down to the local rock gym and build up a sweat and a deep burn in his upper body. Or how when he came back home every day he would be so tired from head to toe all he could do was plop on the couch, flip on whatever was on the TV, and sit there for a half hour as his strength returned. He could talk about how he went cliff diving last Saturday, how he jumped, how he climbed, how he jumped more, and how he climbed more (though he never actually dove, cliff jumping just didn't sound the same). Or he could of talked about the awkward patch of sunburn on his back due to the misplacement of SPF 50 on that same saturday, moments before the jumping. There was so much he could of written about, but being so early in the morning, everything that was there, simply slipped his mind. In defeat, he closed his notebook, grabbed his towel and headed down the hall to the shower.

"Next time" he said, in a voice that made it painfully clear he was lying to himself "I'll post something next time".

This is where we leave our hero, either too busy, too tired, of just not modivated enough to drop by and post an update. A hero amongst the fat and lazy. Trying to find his way through his new life.

But more importantly...

Trying to find the soap.

How My Day Went

Alarm Clock: Beepbeepbeep
Me: ugh, food, *munch munch*
Me: ugh, shower *shower shower*
Shellie (my computer): cough cough, I have a virus
Me: stupid Shellie, today is horrible
Bike: ride me ride me
me:*ride ride ride*
Me: Ugh, job
Application: FILL ME!
Me: *fill fill*
Me: I WANNA GO TO THE ROCK GYM!
Me: *ride ride ride*
Rock Gym: hi Ben, bet you wish you had your shoes
Me: yeah, I WANNA GO DOWN LAMAR STREET
Me: *ride ride ride*
Me: I think I'm bored of Lamar street
Me: I think I'll go home
Comic book store to my right: ENTER ME!
Me: I WANNA GO IN THE COMIC BOOK STORE
Spider man: read me!
Me: *read read read*
Me: bye comic book people
Lamar street: Come further
Me: well I could stop by the Highland Mall, ok.
Me: I must of made a wrong turn, I don't know this place
Park: you remember me right you've been here many times, cut through me!
Me: I WANNA CUT THROUGH THE PARK
Me: humm, I don't want to have to cut through all the people at the whole foods to get to the other side.
Me: I think I will take this road to the right, then turn left, and then left again
Me: that way I can get a drink at the whole foods, turn around, and find the mall
Me: la la la
Car: la la la
Fence: MUAHAHAH
Me: la la la
Car la LA la
Fence: MUAHAHAH 3... 2...
Me: AHHH
Car: AHHH
Bike: FUUUUUU*K


CRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!


Me: you f***ed up my bike lady
Lady: are you ok
Bike: NOOOOO
Me: I'm fine
Lady: put it in the back, I'll get u a new one
Me: Ok
Me: It wont fit
lady: tie it to that tree
Bike: Oh what the hell!!! your just gonna leave me here?
Car: VROOOOM!
Bike:............ hello?................

lady: we need bike
Bike man: get this bike
Me: I like this bike
Lady: he needs helmet
Me: I guess
Helmet man: get this helmet
Me: I like this helmet
Lady: He needs U lock
Me: well actually I already have a Lock so I don't really...
Lock man: get this lock
Tatoo man: tell me witch car is hers so I can put my bike under it
Me: hey this bike doesn't have a kickstand
Lady: WE NEED KICKSTAND!!!
Kickstand man: sorry we don't have any, but you can come back tomorrow.
Lady: fine, we want to buy all this
Me: wait, how much is all this stuff gonna cost???
Lady: doesn't matter
Cashier man: that'll be six bajillion dollars.
Capitol One Credit Card: WEEEEEEE
Lady: Take bike, go home, stay safe
Me: wow thanks lady, sorry you ran over me, nice meeting you, bye

Me: that was weird, oh well, time to go home
Me: la la la
Fence: MUAHAHAH
Me: la la la
Fence 3.... 2.....
Me: FENCE!!!!!!
Bike 2.0: BREEEAAAAAKKKKKK!!!
Me: *peeks around fence* humm, there wasn't a car this time anyway.
Me: oh hi old bike
Old Bike: huh? HEY HEY, finally, I've been sitting here in the sun for....
Me: gotta go, pick you up later maybe
Old Bike: what! wait wait, DON'T GO......wait wait.......NOOOO...............(muttering)..................MAYBE!?!?!?!? ...........

Home: welcome home
Me: good to be home
Bike 2.0: yeah, just park me right here dawg... cooo
Post: The End.



Disclamer: The only reason I got in a car with a stranger is because I was at least 6 miles from my home, and she had just ran over my bike. I mean what did you expect me to do, CARRY IT BACK?!?

Luckily the lady was really nice, and now, I have a pretty sweet bike, light weight too, so if it happens again, I will have the option of carrying it back (not that I will..... or that it will happen again)

Ideas for this post = El Zilcho

While your mind is still slightly focused on the before mentioned post title I will complete contradict what I said and tell you that I DO have an idea for this post. Schizophrenia. Now, as I have said at least 100 times, your are probably thinking, "but bra (thats surfer for bro, I like to imagine all my readers have some kind of weird speech impediment, and yes, surfer is impediment) why r' u postin' bout schizophrenia dude, like, what's it got to do with u man". Well, it has absolutely nothing to do with me, but did Hitler really have anything to do with WWII? only if you believe everything you are told on the history channel, and if you believe old people who "claim" to have been there. But Hitler is neither here nor there, most likely because for someone to be "here or there" they would have to be somewhere, and to be somewhere implies that you actually exist, and well, I hate repeating myself, I hate repeating myself.

LIKE I WAS SAYING.


Schizophrenia. I'm posting about it because it fascinates me, kind of like how straying off from the topic at hand and rambling on about some random thing such as a WWII villain, or how I stray from topics fascinates me. But thats not the topic at hand, the topic as I said 3 times.... you know.... screw it, you know what it is. I AM POSTING BECAUSE IT FASCINATES ME, AND IF I CAN GET TO LINE TWO WITHOUT STRAYING FROM THE TOPIC I WILL BE FLABBERGASTED.... (Note to self, make next post about the word flabbergasted). Have you ever wondered if maybe you were schizophrenic and didn't know it, as strange as it sounds I have wondered... I have wondered why I've wondered that. See, I have thoroughly studied my brain, and have discovered the most logical path for my brain to take at any given time. So, to put it in idiot terms, or just not "me" terms. I can tell what I am going to be thinking and when. Incredible huh? With that still in mind, by all my accounts I should be wondering if I am really a schizo unknowing every Wednesday at 7:42PM just before thinking of what my life would be like if I were a panda destined to save the Congo from the commies and their heavily accented ninjas. Like I said, by all accounts, it makes no sense. So I am asking you, have you ever thought it? because I sure have (I directly contradicted myself there to see if you were paying attention) *prince power: rewind* (<-- ignore that) So I am asking you, have you ever thought it? because I sure haven't. But thinking about how I've never thought about it sure has me wondering..... WHAT IF I AM REALLY A SCHIZO AND DON'T KNOW IT!!!!



Thought of the Day: People say Leonardo Da Vinchi was a genius, but I don't know. I'm pretty sure he was an artist.