A Day in the Mind of Me

Today I think I'm gonna give you a little insight into my mind, by walking you through a day through my eyes.

Morning: I wake up at about 9'o'clock and lay in bed till about noon just thinking, thinking and writing awesome stories of action, adventure, spectaular scenery, and for the girls, enough romance to win an Oscar. When I finally reluctantly get out of bed my mind is still thinking of how to deepen the characters pasts or add new ones until I pour my bowl of cereal, I sit at my table thinking "humm I wonder, if I pretend this is some kind of sick government food it might taste better" and what do ya know it does. After that I usually walk around singing as loud as I can with out moving my vocal cords so I can breath in and sing at the same time, usual singing a song that I only know a few words to. After I'm done with all that good stuff I go take a shower where I usually go insane, you see the shower is basically my only private time so I don't waste a minute of it. If you would enter the shower as the invisible man you would probably see me singing, dancing, practicing different emotions, acting out various seens from my favorite "Mind books" or all of the above. When I come out of the shower I go to the mirror, apply hair gel if needed, and put on my ZapZyt acne cream in strategic locations to better vanquish evil Lord White head and his pawns the Irish red headed Zits. After I get all that done I put on all the other stuff, deodorant, Axe, Ect. then look in the mirror while boosting my self confidence with words like, my god your sexy, if there were two of me I would make a threesome with me myself and my mirror image UGHH yeah. On my way back to my trailer I see all the old people who inhabit these parks and I begin to think, "my god, whats gonna happen when I turn that age" I then begin to think of things to do before I reach the "golden age" such as "Maybe the end time will come and I will be killed, or maybe I can give my life for some defenseless baby when I am 47, that way I score some goodness points and I don't live to the "stick in the ass" age". All this though of old people gets me thinking, "I wonder, in heaven would say Betty White look old like we all remember her as, or would she look the way she wanted to, oh my god... What if she's hot in heaven, but that wouldn't be fair to everyone else because she wouldn't look like the way people remember her. What if I marry the Hot 24 year old version of Betty White, would Jack LaLane marry the 80 year old version, Eww I don't want to be related to him, wait... Can you even get married in heaven, cuz I mean an eternity with one person... But then what the hell ever happened to love?" at this point my mind begins to hurt so I stop thinking about the ununderstandible supernatural and try to fathom the natural supernatural. Things like hands, I sit and stare at my hands thinking "if my fingers were sailors, who would be the Capitan, well I guess It would be the thumb, but then the index finger does look pretty commanding, i guess... naw the pinky cant command anyone, at has to move the ring finger when it wants to go anywhere. I guess that... Yeah... On my right hand, my thumb would be the Capitan, my index finger would be the ambitious first mate, my middle finger would be the stowed away punk with green hair, my third finger would be the woman who goes on board that no one really likes but the first mate ends up falling in love with, and my pinky would be the cabin boy, and my left hand would be the barbarians with no rank or moral value who kill the cabin boy sending the first mate in a blind rage and killing all of them... I have four fingers now". Once I'm finished with all of that I usually get online, I look around as if I'm hiding something, then I begin to sing my password because it is just so much fun to sing "* * * dramatic pause * * *[x7]" you should try it some time. After I finish checking all the blogs and trying desperately to break my 8 comment average I look at my watch and realize that it is about 5:00 PM. I then pull a chair up right in front of the TV, examine all 18 of my video games then pull the chair back and think to myself "man I need some new games". I go into my 2 feet by 6 room and pull out my art book, once again look around to make sure no one is looking and pull out my "attempted serious" cartoon art portraits of the male characters in my story (there are only male drawings because whenever I draw a girl she always looks like the hulk), I stare at them and think to myself "man, I really wish I could write the story, maybe I should, (voice in my head speaking) you already tried that remember, you got through 1 and a half, 2 page chapters that sounded like Dr sues,
Me: oh yeah, well, I still wanna write something, maybe ill spoof a song,
Voice: no you don't, you want to take a shower,
ME: umm no I don't, I already took a shower today, I'm clean,
Voice: common Ben you know you want to take a shower
Me: no I don't alright,
Voice: come on, you know your gonna take one anyway, when have you not listened to me,
Me: plenty
Voice: Oh? Remember that time with the razor...
Me: alright alright, Jerk...
... That actually happened, the argument that is. After I finish arguing with the green haired girl inside my head I go into my room, turn on some music and get on the computer, at about midnight I start to want to go to bed, but of course, my sister has to be on last. I wait till about 3'o'clock until I finally say, "that's it I'm going to bed, turn the computer off", she then usually begins to whine that its "so early" I usually respond with a "ITS FRICKIN 3 AM" once the lights are out we usually have stupid conversation about nothing in particular such as
Amy: isn't it fun to be fat
Ben: not where your shadow where 42 pounds
Amy: not that fat but just... Chubby
Ben: (dumbfounded pause) what ever, I don't share your ensuthiasum of being comically obese
Amy: right... Well... Im going to bed
Ben:......................(whispering) this is the world we live in (shouting) WOAHOO AND THESE ARE THE HANDS WERE GIVEN OAHOO.
I then fall asleep thinking about all the nothing that transpired that day and I try to put an idea of it into my story some how. At night I dream sweet dreams of monkeys and peanut butter and jelly sandwitches which somehow didn't make it into this post, even though I think of them more then the average person.

Thought of the day: My older brother is a filthy lier, TWO CATS CANNOT EAT EATCHOTHER.