Friday, February 09, 2007

O.C.D.?

It has come to my attention that it has come to my brothers' attention that they think I have O.C.D. (obsessive compulsive disorder) and I am here to prove why that is completely false.
You see, the reason I know my brother Jamie is lying, is because if you have ever lived with him for over a week, you would know that he is completely and entirely full of S#!%..... all the time. You see, the easiest way to describe him would be like a vampire who does not feed off blood, but rather the anger he instills in you, and the belief in his mischievous falsehoods cleverly shrouded in blanket candy. However, there are ways known ONLY to those who already know, to avoid being preyed upon. The first tell tale sign of his first form of feeding is the laughter, he will begin to laugh in a maniacal way, this you see is simply a way to further your anger, but at this sign you MUST immediately stop what you are doing and enter a state of peace. The lies however are a little harder to avoid. The only way out is to call his bluff with a "yeah right" or "Bull crap" he will then laugh in a way much different then the laugh he uses to anger you, and I do not need to tell you what it sounds like because it will be so different that you will immediately know. The only danger with calling his bluffs are the fact that he may not be lying, in which case you will simply feel a bit stupid.
Anyhow, I have gotten a bit sidetracked, now that you know why Jamie, brother A, is lying about the O.C.D. thing, I should tell you why David, Brother B, is lying.
It took me a little while to figure out because David is not usually the type to make up a lie just to lie. In fact he and Jamie are very different in the way they "feed". You see, David, feeds off food... people food. Anyway, last night on the way home from climbing I finally figured it out. I will tell you ONLY what I remember from the conversation, (I don't want to put words in anyones mouthes), and you can try to figure it out as well.
David: Blah Blah Blah Backpack?
Ben: you mean the one like your shoes
My shoes?
You didn't notice? its the same color and design as your shoes
Really? ha I didn't notice
I thought you got them like that
What, like as a pair?
Yeah
No someone gave it to me
I thought you bought them both to match
No, I would never buy anything that matches.
Why?
I just hate it, like when people were red pants and red shirts
Well yeah not matching like that
Even the same design, I wont wear something like Van's pants and Van's shoes, or even things that look similar, like if I'm wearing a shirt that is to close to looking like my pants I'll change it.
Some matching things look cool
.....no
ha, yeah well... what about football players they wear matching shirts and pants and they have the same symbol on the helmets as their shirts
Well would you go around wearing a helmet?
That is COMPLETELY... NOT the point.
Well do you see me playing football?

This is when it hit me, that if you combine what he just said with the way his room looks, the way he makes his sandwiches and just the way he lives in general that you would find that he is, in fact, afraid of organization, meaning that to him, someone that who is even slightly organized would seem like an O.C.D case.
So there you have it, two fool proof reasons why they are wrong that I can sum up right here.
Jamie is only trying to feed of the annoyance of being called an O.C.D case, and David is afraid organization and the titles that come with it. So take a good look people, at the faces of the enemy.

Their evil pact is sickening.


Thought of the day:
Leamers would make good house pets if they wern't so damn Evil

8 comments:

Living My Fairytale said...

I'll tell you what's evil, and it ain't those lemur's....those are some wicked faces right there. Snicker

Class Clown said...

Note: this post is mostly revenge for that night Jamie kicked my butt in Football and laughed mockingly on every play.

also it got him to post something on his blog, you should check it out.

Blog God said...

Yeah, as many problems as Ben has I don't think Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is one of them.
It looks like you guys are getting along nicely.

Amy said...

well by the way you make your sandwich's it's kinda hard to tell.

But I know what you mean about David being disorganized, he's had the same to quarters in the same exact place on the floor for at least a month.

Unknown said...

Rump roast, I bet you were eyeing those two quarters, ha!

Anonymous said...

I'll tell you what's evil...that hideous thing growing on Jamie's face...that's what's evil!

Class Clown said...

........His nose? or just thewhole thing

Anonymous said...

The hair that is growing off his face.

Tex

Tex